So the diet finished in spectacular style - I shit my pants, yes yes you heard me, I SHIT MY PANTS!
There has to be a first time for everything and on the eve of the 10th day it happened and now it will become known as the incident that will never be spoken of again!
So yes, I have lost some weight and haven't put it back on since but having gone through such a harrowing ordeal I had to have a little time off from blogging.
That's all.
Tuesday, 4 March 2008
Saturday, 2 February 2008
Chicken Puke
Ugh. I am not happy. Not happy at all.
Tonight was the night of chicken soup but it did not go well. It was like a disaster movie.
So here it is. I wasn't sure whether or not to make it in a pan as the powdery bits might not blend in too well so I decided to use a kettle and fill my shakey shake bottle up with it. So I filled the water up to the mark and poured the powder in...yum yum my chicken soup...a hot meal finally - well something that I could pretend was a hot meal anyway. Fastened the lid on, pushed down the stopper and began to shake my mixture. PUTTTT is the noise I heard before being sprayed with what now resembled chicken puke, my face, my hair, my clothes.....and then to my horror, I turned around to see the newly painted kitchen wall, covered with splatters of soup and somekind of herb - judging from the mixture that was running down my face and into my mouth, it was parsley.
I then shouted my partner, who it turned out had no concern for the fact that I was covered in chicken puke and looked like I had been out on a date with Linda Blair, but was more concerned that the wall would have to be repainted. So then I screamed about all the times I had jumped up to help clean spilled beer up and I even resorted to bringing up the great Lucozade Incident of 2007 that left the bedroom carpet fluorescent orange (the less said about that the better).
Needless to say I still attempted to eat the puke (which then confirmed to me the fact that it was actually the vomit of a chicken) and then I poured the rest away. My partner is currently not speaking to me, my kitchen wall is a designer shade of puke and I am still hungry with no rations left for this evening.
Am I still in the zone? That perhaps is a question for tomorrow!
Tonight was the night of chicken soup but it did not go well. It was like a disaster movie.
So here it is. I wasn't sure whether or not to make it in a pan as the powdery bits might not blend in too well so I decided to use a kettle and fill my shakey shake bottle up with it. So I filled the water up to the mark and poured the powder in...yum yum my chicken soup...a hot meal finally - well something that I could pretend was a hot meal anyway. Fastened the lid on, pushed down the stopper and began to shake my mixture. PUTTTT is the noise I heard before being sprayed with what now resembled chicken puke, my face, my hair, my clothes.....and then to my horror, I turned around to see the newly painted kitchen wall, covered with splatters of soup and somekind of herb - judging from the mixture that was running down my face and into my mouth, it was parsley.
I then shouted my partner, who it turned out had no concern for the fact that I was covered in chicken puke and looked like I had been out on a date with Linda Blair, but was more concerned that the wall would have to be repainted. So then I screamed about all the times I had jumped up to help clean spilled beer up and I even resorted to bringing up the great Lucozade Incident of 2007 that left the bedroom carpet fluorescent orange (the less said about that the better).
Needless to say I still attempted to eat the puke (which then confirmed to me the fact that it was actually the vomit of a chicken) and then I poured the rest away. My partner is currently not speaking to me, my kitchen wall is a designer shade of puke and I am still hungry with no rations left for this evening.
Am I still in the zone? That perhaps is a question for tomorrow!
In the Zone
I am so in the zone. I am the dieting equivalent of a top class athlete and not even the baby sick shakes can deter me from my goal.
I watched the fatties at work shovelling in their fish and chips, while lecturing me on the healthy way to lose weight. I couldn't help but feel a little bit superior, since my weight loss is beginning to show and I feel confident that I will reach the seven day mark with ease.
The one downside is that I haven't really emptied my bowels yet and this leaves me with only one conclusion - that I will spontaneously combust if I don't manage drop one. Maybe this is the price that thin people have to pay. They look good and can wear designer clothes, but they live with the secret that one day they may just go BOOM.
I watched the fatties at work shovelling in their fish and chips, while lecturing me on the healthy way to lose weight. I couldn't help but feel a little bit superior, since my weight loss is beginning to show and I feel confident that I will reach the seven day mark with ease.
The one downside is that I haven't really emptied my bowels yet and this leaves me with only one conclusion - that I will spontaneously combust if I don't manage drop one. Maybe this is the price that thin people have to pay. They look good and can wear designer clothes, but they live with the secret that one day they may just go BOOM.
Thursday, 31 January 2008
Baby Sick Down My Coat!
I am posting under duress. Someone, who shall remain nameless, has made me post. Not by usual interrogation methods used but she has still managed to wear me down until I have no option. Is blogging for me? Who knows.
I am trying to lose a little weight at the moment before it gets out of hand and I end up in 3 years being 20 stone or as big as the woman who had to roll up her garage door to get to Mcdonalds!
With that in mind, I am doing something called Lipotrim. Now I should be visiting a pharmacy to take this stuff but I decided that e-bay was the place for me. I know how I should be losing weight - healthy diet, burn more calories than you take in - blah, take forever, blah nonsense, I have decided that tiredness, moodiness, starvation and desperation is the way to go. Quick fixes and short cuts is what I am all about!
This diet consists of no food just shakes. Shake for breakfast, shake for lunch, shake for dinner. My life has become one lukewarm,vanilla, baby sick shake. Despite this new state of being, I am still feeling surprisingly upbeat.
How many days into this am I? Ok this is the second day but it feels like a bollocking week.
I made my first vanilla shake yesterday and accidentally used lukewarm water in it (don't ask). Then some of the powder managed to congeal all up the side of the container, so as you can imagine, this was looking scrumptious. The women at work have found my plight amusing and some have even given me words of support. The most common emotion seems to be pity. Perhaps it was at the point where the small amount of baby sick mixture I had, dribbled down my coat. I did consider licking it off in an attempt not to waste what I had but I held back for dignity's sake. I did however hide in the back kitchen and consume the congealed leftovers with a teaspoon. What have I been reduced to?
I moved onto the chocolate shakes today and they are much nicer. I have one chicken soup (not technically a shake but we shall see) and that is gonna be the BIG treat at the weekend. Saturday night with MY chicken soup. I want sunken cheeks by the time I have finished.
Call me Mary-Kate, or is it Ashley?
I am trying to lose a little weight at the moment before it gets out of hand and I end up in 3 years being 20 stone or as big as the woman who had to roll up her garage door to get to Mcdonalds!
With that in mind, I am doing something called Lipotrim. Now I should be visiting a pharmacy to take this stuff but I decided that e-bay was the place for me. I know how I should be losing weight - healthy diet, burn more calories than you take in - blah, take forever, blah nonsense, I have decided that tiredness, moodiness, starvation and desperation is the way to go. Quick fixes and short cuts is what I am all about!
This diet consists of no food just shakes. Shake for breakfast, shake for lunch, shake for dinner. My life has become one lukewarm,vanilla, baby sick shake. Despite this new state of being, I am still feeling surprisingly upbeat.
How many days into this am I? Ok this is the second day but it feels like a bollocking week.
I made my first vanilla shake yesterday and accidentally used lukewarm water in it (don't ask). Then some of the powder managed to congeal all up the side of the container, so as you can imagine, this was looking scrumptious. The women at work have found my plight amusing and some have even given me words of support. The most common emotion seems to be pity. Perhaps it was at the point where the small amount of baby sick mixture I had, dribbled down my coat. I did consider licking it off in an attempt not to waste what I had but I held back for dignity's sake. I did however hide in the back kitchen and consume the congealed leftovers with a teaspoon. What have I been reduced to?
I moved onto the chocolate shakes today and they are much nicer. I have one chicken soup (not technically a shake but we shall see) and that is gonna be the BIG treat at the weekend. Saturday night with MY chicken soup. I want sunken cheeks by the time I have finished.
Call me Mary-Kate, or is it Ashley?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
